Something like a comedy group or toastmasters could help you with social awkwardness. My job still blows, and a late 20's arrest record has not helped. I find it very difficult to turn my life around at 35. Living a life of fear and loathing is not a pleasant lifestyle. Around this time four years ago, my life was a mess. I surrounded myself with other positive people. I run it from the jungle in Costa Rica. It sounds like you landed a job below your pay grade. At 32 my wife sat me down and demanded we split the finances 50/50. Sure. You'll learn that accomplishing your goal didn't change who you are, but you'll find you always could have done more than what you were because you were only holding yourself back. Keep looking and you will find one that fits. So it may seem like you fail more than most people, when in fact you're about average. Finding an unbiased person like a psychologist to confide in share your experiences with will make you feel a lot better about life and help you mentally work through obstacles on your own. The other day I was trying to calm a friend who was anxiously on the cusp of turning 30. Sometime during this period I read the book The Power of Habit , as well as a couple books about how will power works. If you were my son I would be bragging about you to all my neighborhood! Almost 60% of my clients are in their 40s. You are doing something about your physical appearance... and you are on the low end of turning 30... That's a great thing! I understand weâre all at various stages in our journey. Night and day difference when I started prioritizing 8 to 9 hours every day and not thinking I can get by without enough . Discover unique things to do, places to eat, and sights to see in the best destinations around the world with Bring Me! These are all things that many women will view as a plus. How can you even class that as a failure, are you 12? On the other hand I don't feel the real urgency to change, because things aren't that bad, but also not that great. I am a 34 yo who suffers from acute amxiety since last 15 years. You wake up one day and realize not only how FUCKING OLD you are, but that you only have two choices going forward: Get older or die. Some people are born to live exactly as how they were meant to live. You could start a (cheap) hobby. I may also join a running club to meet other folks and expand my social circle. You just gotta take it, and it looks like you already have. I'd recommend in the meantime also... Read the book, "The subtle art of not giving a Fcuk". The problem is that if you are psychologically used to spending every penny you earn then more money doesn't fix the problem it makes it worse. Itâs awesome your turning it around for yourself!nice job!! 2013 was the worst year of my adult life. Good luck. Iâm pretty much aware of what you are going through and what you really want to change. 30 is the new 60. by ... the first time in your life. I listened to and watched motivational videos on youtube. [Discussion] Did anyone turn their life around after 35? I went back to undergrad AT 27 and finally finished my masters at 33. Build up your professional profile, and experience. It took the humbling experience of moving home and taking a low-paying job to motivate my ass. I really appreciate it! Or maybe you discover you want to be an MMA fighter or an artist or want to dedicate your life to science? I think a lot of people just generalize that the decade of your 20s is for carefree partying, and glaze over the fact that for a lot of us what its really used for is doing the hard emotional and mental task of developing the groundwork for our futures. 1. But the relationship will arrive quicker than you think once you make the decision to focus on improving yourself (which it seems like you already have.). I am proof that anyone can turn their life around: How to battle your demons AFTER battles with anxiety, alcoholism and homelessness BETH BURGESS, 32, â¦ This mindset can very likely help with your coding too. Which meant that I would become ruthless about cutting out stuff that really wasn't benefiting me. However if you really want to be wealthy and envision all the "perks" of it and have very specific wants, you will develop the drive to go out and do what you have to do to get them. Read daily. They've done amazing things, but I won't list them, because I think it'd be counteractive to focus on advances you could write on a resume. I am also thinking of getting a second job until the credit card is paid off completely. The same way you got good at programming by actually practicing it. Sometimes you can but you don't want to deal with the implications of making it work, that's OK too. You have a negative view on life. When it's under control though I feel great . After 6 months intern, I worked as a Web Email Developer for little over 3 years. But I think talking with folks who are in fields I am interested in, and getting to know what their lives are like, will go a long way to focusing what I need to do going forward. It sounds like bullshit generic advice, but reframing and talking out their concerns (seriously, graduating in 5 years is still amazing) helped them move on and realise the good things they took out of it and not to catastrophise. The possibilities are endless. He helped completely turn my life around. The most amazing journies always start with that first step. Within about a year things really started to gel workwise and I was being pretty consistent with my eating and workouts. You cannot change your life overnight, but you can most certainly change the direction of your life overnight. How do you handle rejection? I like having a goal, it keeps me focused and motivated. You don't give a fuck and you become so much hotter for it. I started doing that along with my newfound exercise routine. It's been a lot of shit (and I'm sure some of the shit will always continue in some form) and I'm 35 dude!! If you're out of shape, this can be fixed. I just held a vision of it being ok, put the work in and things got better. This last point is especially important. I've only recently begun listening to him, so I'm kind of on a kick with it, so excuse the fanboy-ness. This is mostly about not procrastinating as I had the work available it's just that I would take days off at a time. The meditation piece could be very useful for me, especially since I am such a chronic over thinker and have suffered from paralysis by analysis many times throughout my life. Use your "low point" as fuel, and turn the ship around. Others have kids, a family, house, well-paying job and are unhappy because they wish they didn't have so many responsibilities! Searching for a new job since I am surviving pay-scale to pay-scale. Some won't give you the time of day, but I've gotten great advice from others. Seems like you're introverted. I would like to say that I turned my life around in a few months but that's really not the case. Looking back on the careers and relationships that I wanted SO BAD but didn't work out, I can now see that they just weren't for me. I did end up replacing running with hiking because after a while it got to be a little hard on my body. Found a better job or great significant other? Depends on the person. Me too. Just keep plugging away and when you look back in a year you'll be surprised how far you've come. For them, they had a tonne of setbacks or issues like you mentioned and felt like they were in a losing race compared to all their friends. Pick something, then do it. Diet and exercise. It worked for them though and that's what matters. Now at forty something I've got an awesome job, a beautiful wife, and an interesting story to tell about how everything fell into place over time. I'm currently 25lbs over-weight. Fitness - I've started Lee Labrada Lean Body Workout (12 Weeks) - Currently on week 2. It just took him a while to figure it out. Our marriage was extremely strained basically because of me not listening. You are a loser!" r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. Of course these are just heavily curated snapshots of what their true lives are, but it's sometimes hard to remember that. But your desires have to be in the realm of possibility. 30.8m members in the AskReddit community. The conversation got me thinking about how much I'm loving my 30s. Hey! For those of you [â¦] Iâd definitely say I am having a midi life crisis. Many say turning 25 is a pivotal moment in your twenty-something life. I'm in a similar boat. This has been an issue my whole life but I am ready to take it on. Here's my personal list of the things in my 30s that have surprised me and made me feel a lot more relaxed about life: You see what your friends are doing, & you don't know what daily internal talk they may be having. I DEFINITELY have had that voice in my head saying "You are in your late 30s and what have you done! He helped completely turn my life around. No credit cards for at least five years till I can fix the debt issue. What I will say is that failure is A) Normal, and B) Is actually helpful and sometimes necessary for growth. Programming tends to be a lonely activity. After completing Engineering I was jobless again for 1 year. Unfortunately still going to be another 4 years before we're out of debt, which feels like wasted time considering I could have started two years ago, but at least I am time no longer feeling stressed out and out of control. These absolutely do help me get in a more healthy frame of mind and make me feel less despondent. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Became a SAHM and have done nothing w useless degree. What really made me think that is that you failed at school because you took 5 years to finish. I got a degree in something useless. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. You can probably drop it to 20%, have a very comfortable retirement, and also have 10% of your salary as disposable income. And lastly were incorporating the principle of "pay yourself first" and using a modern take on classic envelope budgeting. Whenever you catch yourself saying "I can't " stop, and ask "How can I?" I know people who are pushing 50 to 60 who aren't even close to what you've done. I wish I had paid attention to that stuff back when I was your age. You should try some positive self talk. And I'm no longer randomly just buying crap to make myself feel good. So thank you so much for replying! Landing that client allowed us to enjoy life a bit more, but I am sad to say it did not fix my broken mentality toward finances or help me get anything paid off. Sixteen-year-olds equate it to something akin to the apocalypse â an instant death of â¦ This meant I could be well rested for work and made the time spent socializing that much sweeter. Cookies help us deliver our Services. So a lot of what I'm trying to illustrate to you is that the groundwork part takes awhile for a lot of people. It's some kind of boredom and I'm missing direction. You obviously have a very high standard for yourself and are talking yourself down. It's only this year (just turned 35) that I finally found a job in my field that I love and that pays me a sum I'm happy and mostly comfortable with. You are winning, son! I'll be honest, this can suck. Marriage is great. My irresponsibility had basically ended up with us about 50 k in debt to the IRS and with another 20 plus k in unsecured debt. I'm 43. Seriously, stop being so hard on yourself. Having a few good friends is better for many people, (including myself). Took literally hundreds of LSAT practice tests so that in turn sorta feeds back to school two! Turn their life around in a few years Web Email Developer for little over 3 years that will help with. Even though I owe them my life around and get back on track achieving... Got into Tech support for about 1.5 yrs fill in this blank: `` I can fix the issue. Or a year or two earlier I absolutely would have wrecked it 35 yet but... 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